At War With My Father

At War With My Father – Fred Howe: Prisoner of War is a deeply personal memoir that intertwines wartime history with a daughter’s search for understanding her father.
The narrative opens in 2008 in Boorowa, where the author reflects at her father’s graveside after years of researching his experiences as a prisoner of war on the Burma–Thailand Railway. Through this journey, she seeks to better understand both her father and herself.
The book recounts the brutal suffering endured by Sergeant Fred Howe—torture, starvation, and psychological strain—while also exploring his internal conflict about enlisting despite having a family. Alongside these vivid wartime experiences, the narrative reveals the emotional distance between father and daughter, shaped by trauma that was never spoken about.
As a child, the author did not grasp the meaning of her father’s war stories. As an adult, she comes to understand how profoundly those experiences affected him and, in turn, their relationship. The memoir ultimately reflects on inherited trauma, reconciliation, and the lasting impact of war, captured in the poignant contrast: while Fred was a POW for over three years, his daughter feels she has lived in emotional captivity for decades.